I’m in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me. Shut up, let me tell you, let me. Every time I look at your face, or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you are with me, and you’re just fun and you shit all over me and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m going to live a thousand years because that’s how long it’s going to take me to have one thought about you, which is that I’m crazy about you. I don’t want to be with anybody else. I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about women anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream, you were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real.
― Louis C.K. (via karibu-nyumbani)
The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you’ve ever wished for.
― Tucker Max, Assholes Finish First (via larmoyante)

overlypolitebisexual:

whenever i see these post-apocalyptic films set in the USA where everyone is pretty much just killing each other with no mention of other nations i always just assume that the rest of the world is fine and has learnt how to resume life as normal

notabadday:

googlearths:

if my husband doesnt tear up when im walking down the aisle im turning the fuck around 

my husband definitely will because he’s gonna have to put up with me for the rest of his life and that’s enough to make anybody cry

fartgallery:

if youre wondering why im sewing all these tiny underwears and laying them on the floor its because i want all these spiders in my house to put them on. sick of them dragging their tiny spider dicks all over my clean floor

May you pick up your tea when it’s exactly the right temperature, and may you happen to glance out the window when the light is just how you like it.
Casual Blessings  (via allthingssoulful)